If you, like me, have never had a run-in with a heron before, consider yourself lucky. According to the internet, who knows everything, herons often spend their days perched on tree limbs or concealed among foliage and branches. They forage in the evening and at night, in water, on mudflats, and on land. In flight they fold their head back against their shoulders, almost making the neck disappear.
Have I ever mentioned, ever, that I have a HUGE BIRD PHOBIA?
I have a huge bird phobia. I cannot even look at these pictures without feeling all weird inside.
I think - I think these birds think we live near the ocean now.
So I get it, the birds are dumb. We live in a pretty urban area - nowhere near the ocean. But birds don't talk and I can't tell them that.
These birds have made themselves very at home in the backyard.
They do not fly away when the kids go outside to play.
They also do not fly away when the kids throw balls at them. (My kids are so brave.)
Also, they do their stuff all over everyone's car.
And several neighbors have called the city and animal control and I have no idea who else, and the official response: Oh, yeah, herons are a protected species, nothing we can do.
Nothing they can do?!
These guys are building a condo of nests in my front tree.
If you're still reading this, send help.