We have a lizard.
And he's not our pet.
I was tidying up the guest room this afternoon as my mother-in-law is coming for a long weekend and what should I find but a lizard. A scared lizard, because when I moved the box he was hiding (living?) behind, he froze. But you know what? He wasn't more scared than I was.
This was me, in a very loud voice and to no one in particular because I was home alone*:
Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness...
So loud, I scared the lizard out of his stupor because he finally made a run for it under the love-seat we have in the guestroom.
I had no idea what to do but I did know two things for sure:
1. I did not want to see that lizard again.
2. There was no way Josh could come home in the middle of the day to catch it.
I started my oh my goodness mantra again and I started looking around the room and wouldn't you know it, there they were. I knew it was always a smart idea to buy clearance items at Target even if you aren't really sure you need them.
We don't have a pool but I did buy four pool noodles the other day and they happened to be sitting in the guest room. Super slowly, I put one noodle on the bottom of each side of the couch, covering the openings near the floor. This was my attempt at barricading that sucker in.
I used whatever big things were in the room to keep the noodles in place -an unconnected printer (although, had it been connected, it wouldnt have been for long), a police car cozy coupe, our huge cooler that we shlepped onto the auto train and a very heavy bag full of something or other.
That lizard didnt have a chance of escaping. I mean maybe he did, I have no idea. Do lizards have bones? Can they make themselves very flat and flee? I don't know and I don't care. I slowly left the room, closed the door and placed a tightly rolled up towel at the bottom of the door, just in case. I'm the kind of girl who doesn't like to take chances.
Let's back up for a second though - I should mention that as I was backing out of the room, I noticed a bug, a nice sized bug if you will, on the floor. I reached into the not yet unpacked box near the door and threw a pot lid over the little (bug) guy.
There. See? I'm working on turning negatives into positives.
Still not unpacked - a potential negative.
But let's turn that around.
Still not unpacked! Great! A pot lid in the guest room just when I needed one! Hooray!
I do have to take a moment and comment on the insects and wildlife living in my house.
We did not seem to have any until the termite/exterminator guy came last week. Apparently everyone here (or everyone here who falls for the termite shpiel) has the outside of their house termited, or whatever the term is when they use preventitive measures against termites. Whatever it is, we had it done. And while the guy was here, he did his anti-bug thing around the outisde of the house, although I have to say, whatever he did, I'm not sure he did it right. Maybe he used the come-live-here-bug-spray because that's what's happening. He most certainly did not use the go-away-and-leave-us-alone spray.
Needless to say, we're calling him in the morning.
Anywho, Josh eventually came home and chased the lizard around the room, although the kids were screaming so loud and he was laughing so hard, he almost missed him. But he got him. And now he's outside the house. The lizard. Not Josh.
Josh can stay.
*I have never before typed the words "I was home all alone..." Crazy.