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Throw Food In The Air? Yup.

11/30/2010

Have you seen this? It's beyond fantastic. Totally gets you in the mood for Chanukah.

And so we're watching it again and again, the kids are loving it, dancing all over the living room, knowing all the words after hearing it twice. And as I am watching these guys sing for the fourteenth time in an hour, I'm thinking, How come I don't know any them?

Oh. Wait. It's cause I'm thirty-two, married with four kids and own a house. They are nineteen, single and have time on their hands. Hmmm.

When did this happen? There was a time (not so long ago, or maybe it is so long ago...) when I would have known these guys and dated these guys. All of them. And now? I'm like their much older and very not cool sister who has added a brother-in-law and some nieces and nephews to their lives.

Do I sound depressed? Cause I'm not. It's not at all a depressing idea. It's great. It's cyclical. It's all the things that life should be. Life keeps moving and we get to experience every stage, but something like watching this makes me realize that it's important - no vital - to revel in each stage because it ain't coming back. Deep. I know.

Seriously though, have you ever thrown a latke in the air? I'm closing my eyes and visualizing it. The little flick of my wrist as I move the frying pan ever so slightly. The latke doing a double axle spin kind of thing in the air. And then I can see the mess, the oil splattering everywhere, the smoke alarm going off when the latke hits the range hood and the ketchup flying all over the kitcen when the kids' jump from the smoke alarm. No, I have never thrown a latke into the air. But I just might need to tomorrow night.

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It's Crunch Time

11/30/2010

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T'was a few nights before Chanukah
and all through the house,
No one was sleeping,
and I really mean, nobody.

Why, oh why, won't these children just sleep? I love sleeping. I just really really love it. It used to be that my favorite thing was to climb into bed with clean fresh sheets, all showered and cozy with a good book and just read till it was time to go to sleep. Now I don't care if the sheets are clean, let alone if I have taken a shower. And I can't even keep my eyes open long enough to read a book, even if I had a book - which I don't, because I have been forbidden to go back to the library. In our world (and by that, I really mean Josh's world), over-due fees at the library are unaccepatble, young lady. And so I wait at the mailbox for Time magazine to come each Friday afternoon so I can hold it while I pass out on the couch after I light Shabbos candles.

So anyway, yeah, it's crunch time. And not as in "Hooray! It's crunch time. It must be time for a crunchy chocolate chip cookie." Although, if I was being honest, it's really always time for a cookie - crunchy, not crunchy, whatever. No, it's Chanukah crunch time. That so-much-pressure-to-buy-gifts-laden holiday will be here in less than 48 hours and I have almost nothing done. Well, nothing done in terms of gifts. That's tonight's project. Hopefully. If everyone goes to sleep on time.

Yesterday's project was a super-quicky and done with both girls (not by both, just with). For the past few years we have been lighting the menorahs on the windowsill in the dining room but this year, with two untrustworthy little people who will try and crawl, climb and/or throw themselves as close as possible to to the candles, we will not be doing that. So the windowsill is out.

So this year, we are moving the whole operation out to the enclosed porch. We'll put on coats and light in our lovely, yet sadly uninsulated porch. And so we need to set up a table out there and of course, that table needs a tablecloth. We don't want the table to get cold.

I moved things around in my tablecloth drawer, looking for an super-stained tablecloth that we could paint on. Sadly, none were stained badly enough that a well-placed serving dish or flower vase wouldn't fixed, so I couldn't use any of those. And then I saw a random white something wrapped in plastic on one of the shelves in the porch. Turns out it was a paper backed plastic dropcloth for painting. And it was still sealed. There was our new fancy menorah-table-cloth (?).

I cut out dreidels and a candle and flame from sponges and we dipped the sponges into purple, pink, green and orange paint. I did not pick the colors. We dipped, sponged and painted the heck out of that droptablecloth (?) and it came out pretty cute. And because we only use washable paint, it's ok that we did this on the dining room table. I hope. I haven't looked under the dreidel-cloth (?) yet. (Aaaargh, I can't decide what to call it.)

It did take a weirdly long time to dry, but maybe that's because it's so cold in the house.

Anyway, we (me) started hanging up all our last year's chanukah decorations last night. I'm so proud that, not only did I pack them away in a bin and put it in the basement, but that I actually made a note on the calendar as to where the bin could be found so that I would know for this year. Very unlike me. Once pictures are taken, I will share.

T-minus 31 hours to go.

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... And We're Back

11/28/2010

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So what do you get when you take seven loads of laundry, six bad colds, five sleepless nights, four doctor co-pays, three hacking coughs, two days with no heat and one kid with strept and smoosh them all together? I won't make you guess, I wouldn't do that to you. I'll just tell you. You get a very cranky mommy who has not been able to write for days and has all these ideas and crazy run-on sentences swirling around in her head.

Let's go back to last Tuesday night when this all started. My eldest came home from school with fever, We motrin-ed him up and put him to bed. Then we turned our attention to the sink which was clogged. Yes, again. Apparently all my baking-soda-and-vinegar bragging has come back to bite me in the plunger. And if you have been following along, all that will have just made sense to you. If you haven't been, you can catch up here.

What to do? That sink thinks it can get the best of us, but it hasn't met Josh with a new tool. Sometimes I think he wishes that things like this happen around the house just so he can say that he must take a trip to Lowe's after work. Lowe's for him is kind of like Michael's for me. Except that Michael's has stuff that I want for like a buck and Lowe's does not sell anything for a dollar that Josh wants. Except maybe a soda - and not even that, cause those sodas they sell at the checkout line are cold and cold sodas are always more than a dollar.

Anyway, back to the kitchen, there was no way we were going to call a plumber for a clogged sink. Josh would rather deconstruct the entire pipe that leads from the sink through the cabinet and out the back of the house before he calls a plumber. And you know what, with the fee for just coming to take a look being somewhere around $150, I understand that. So to make a long story into a shorter story, we are now the proud owners of a drum auger. And if the word auger sounds vaguely familiar, it is because the name of the plumber on Curious George is Mr. Auger. Quite clever, if you ask me.

So what the heck is a drum auger? I won't make you guess that either. A drum auger is a very long plastic kind of bendy hose thing with a coil at the end. Except it's not a hose in the sense that anything comes through it. I'm pretty sure it's solid on the inside. Ours is black, it's very slimming. When you hold it, you look ten pounds lighter. How's that for a description. Maybe a picture would help. Here's one:

It took a while, but eventually Josh gave that pipe a colonoscopy. With power tools. Oh, did I mention that this particular drum auger can be attached to a power drill, making it all the more exciting to use. When the power drill is turned on, it rotates the drum auger and kind of forces it through the pipe. Then you (Josh) retract the whole contraption by making the drill spin the other way. I had no idea that was even possible. The magic of power tools. The whole thing was really, so very very disgusting, and yet at the same time, so entertaining. I couldn't leave the kitchen, no matter how much I wanted to run away screaming.

Eventually, everything - and when I say everything, I really really mean everything came out of that pipe and the water ran down the drain without stopping. The dirty water that was inside the pipe and dragged back out by the drum auger was also all over the floor. Josh had placed a catch basin under the open pipe, but it apparently did not work.

I saw the semi-flood on the floor, and well, the conversation went something like this:
Me: What happened?
Josh: The catch basin didn't catch the stuff.
Me: Catch basin. Is that the official term for it?
Josh: No, the official term is s*#t bucket. You wanna get some paper towels?

I retreated from the vicinity of the defective catch basin and brought back some paper towels.

So yes, a wonderful opportunity presented itself for someone (and by someone I do not mean me) to mop the floor at 11pm. Mop, put away the tools and time for bed. The three days worth of dishes that piled up while we were debating the merits of purchasing said drum auger would have to wait till the next day.

And so Josh took his auger (they're close, he doesn't need to call the auger by both names anymore) down to the tool room and introduced him to all his new roomates. I can't say for sure, but I think the auger is happy in his new home.

And just so you know, Josh thoughtfully offered to let his pants ride down a little in the back for the pictures. Just to make his whole role-as-plumber-guy most authentic. You know, just a little something for my fans. And, that's a direct quote.

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Shabbbos Games

11/21/2010

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Shabbos is the Day of Rest. It is also a day filled with family, food and fun - especially fun games. In fact, we played two different games yesterday and fun was had by all.

The first game is called the Tag-Team-Nap Game.
Never played? It's a winner. It goes something like this.

7am: Abba leaves to go to Hashkama to layn
7:01: Mommy and kiddies have breakfast #2.
8:30am Abba comes home.
8:33:Abba and boys go back to shul and, we hope (hope), groups.
9:00: Baby falls asleep.
9:30: Two-year-old, awake since 4am, falls asleep.
9:31: Mommy crawls quietly into bed with magazine.
9:32: Baby wakes up.
9:33: Mommy cries.
9:34: Baby eats and falls back asleep at 10:15am
10:16: Mommy crawls into bed with magazine again.
10:18: Two-year-old wakes up.
10:19: Mommy cries again.
10:20: Two-year-old wails because Mommy hasn't come this instant. 10:21: Baby wakes up from all the wailing.
10:22: Mommy says a potty word, collects everyone and goes downstairs without her magazine to wait for the boy team to come home.

By the time lunch is over,
I am pretty sure I can
hear the dining room floor crying...

Can you tell who the winner is in the game? I'm gonna guess Abba, because right about now he is probably napping in shul. At least one of us is napping.

Finally, finally, like a few years later, the boy team comes home to find the girl team lying on the living room floor. We learn from the weird smile on Abba's face that the boy team apparently didn't work well together this morning either, and so it is time for lunch. By the time that is over, I am pretty sure I can hear the dining room floor crying from all the food dropped under the table.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Okay, so the Tag-Team-Nap Game is over. We will play again next week.

Game number two is called The Shabbos Afternoon Relay Race. It's a new game to us, and like all things new, we are not sure we like it.

Never played this one either? I'll explain the rules. For starters, the game can be played by as many players as needed at one time.

To start the game, you bundle your kids up in their winter coats, go outside and realize that the inside of your house is way colder than the outside of your house. You then come back inside and put all the winter hats away and get laughed at by your husband who, not three minutes before said, "It's a nice autumn day. I think you're overdressing them". That's a direct quote. It's okay to throw the winter hats at his head; it's part of the game. All laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.

You then spend what feels like many hours, and really is many hours, escorting children from one playdate to another, politely declining invitations from friends to come into their houses for a minute as you drop your child off because at that exact moment you are supposed to be picking up another child and taking him to another friend. Eventually stop at home and ask husband to please walk and pick up the kid at the far house. Swear that, dangit, next Shabbos you will wear sneakers, and you won't care who sees you. (Ma, relax, I'm kidding. Close your eyes for a sec). Everyone else: I am so not kidding. I am totally wearing sneakers next week. Eventually assemble at home with all your kids and hubby and shake your head. Resolve to invite lunch company with little kids your kids' ages, every week, so you don't have to do this again. Make sense?

Swear that, dangit, next Shabbos
you will wear sneakers...

The rules are not that hard, it's just that you can't write anything down on Shabbos - like, for example, what time you dropped off one and need to pick up another - so it makes the game a little tricky. But if you could carry a notebook and pen or you know, drive a car, then the game wouldn't be fun.

To end the game, you feed the kids dinner, hear havdalah and realize with a growing sense of horror that it's only 5:30pm and bedtime is still days away. Realize that you will save money this week as you do not need to buy another magazine to read for next Shabbos as you still have your unread one from this week. Rejoice in found money.

(ps. sorry about the lame-o pictures. It was Shabbos, I had to improvise.)

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Adventures At Shoprite

11/19/2010

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So for a few weeks now I have been baking challah on Fridays. A lovely little tradition to start - perhaps one better suited for the summer months when Shabbos starts on the later side, say after Ruff Ruffman is over, but nu nu, it's all good. We really like how the house smells on Friday afternoon when the challah is still hot. Okay, all very nice, you might be saying, but still a little crazy. But you see, there's really an ulterior motive in play here - because challah baking is such an event, making the challah on Friday means that everything everything and everything has to be cooked on Thursday night. And I have been pretty good about doing that, until this week.

I think this week's Shoprite Adventure took place on Tuesday. Part of this week's saga (and if you have been following along, that would mean the milk in the seltzer bottles) was getting a free turkey - lord knows we spent way more than the $300 needed to get that free turkey. But of course, the kosher turkeys are no longer free. Last year Josh made a big thing about that in Shoprite and walked out with a free turkey. This year, he just didn't have it in him. It was late at night, the shrimp-guy-announcer-man-manager wasn't there and he isn't on a first name basis with the other managers. He also didn't want to be too greedy because the manager that was there let him have half off all the meat that was there because it was expiring the next day. Perfectly good for the freezer. Josh took some of it and a chasid standing around heard the conversation and said, "whatever he doesn't take, I'll take." Josh and his fellow Jew got to talking and this chassidish guy is from Manalapin. Why he was hanging around Shoprite, very far from his home, at 10:30pm is still a mystery.

Anyway, so the free turkey rules are all very complicated, evidenced by the fact that it takes half a page to print them in the circular each week. And so at the end of the day, the rule that was in effect that night (and I'm pretty sure it's all about who you ask) was that a percentage of the price of each pound of turkey was deducted from the price. Got that? I'm just happy my math guy was at the supermarket and I wasn't because I probably would have just left the turkey there. After scanning everything, the turkey wound up costing only $7. Free, $7, it's all the same.

Why am I talking about this turkey when I was just talking about challah? Excellent question. You see, I was so distracted by leaking milk (the container, not me) on Tuesday night that I negelected to freeze the turkey when it came home. It had just been sitting in the basement fridge so at this point I had no choice but to cook it for Shabbos. Which is fine, except that turkeys monopolize the oven for like forever, so I could not cook that turkey on Thursday night. And so the turkey is now in the oven, doing its thing. And I still need to bake challah, which does its own monopolizing of the oven.

The turkey has about an hour or so to go and the challah dough should be done rising about the same time the turkey comes out of the oven. Oh, and the boys should be home from school at the exact same time that all that will be taking place. I guess challah baking will be a group activity today. Fun for all.

Here is the challah recipe that we have been using.

My cousin, Chani, gave it to me months ago and we have been loving it ever since. I promised to post it here before Succot and I forgot, so with apologies, here goes nothing:
Challah Recipe:
2 packets of dry yeast
2.5 cups of warm to hot water
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup oil
1 tsp salt
7 cups of flour
(Notice that the recipe has no eggs. It's not a mistake. It really doesn't have any. I'm not messing with you by leaving out an ingredient like some relatives I have like to do).

Dissolve the yeast in warm water. Once it has proofed, add sugar and oil and salt and mix in the mixer. Add flour 2 cups at a time and mix all for about 6 minutes, until a dough has formed. At this point just stop the mixer, cover the bowl with a towel and let it sit someplace warm for 2-3 hours, until it has doubled in size. Shape challahs and let them sit out just until the oven has preheated to 350 degrees. Do the egg wash thing and you're good.

Bake for about 20 minutes and then check them because the whole thing really depends on what size challahs you make. I find that I can get 4 very nice size challahs from one recipe, but I have also made 8 smaller challahs from one recipe. Many times I double the recipe so that I can take challah with a bracha. One batch does not allow for this, although taking challah without a bracha is a good idea. But I am not a local orthodox rabbi and it's always a good idea to consult one about these kinds of things.

Ooh, I hear the timer. I must rotate my turkey.

Oh, and here's the recipe for the turkey. I didn't play around with it, I followed all the directions so my commentary is not needed. Well, except for the fact that I did not sew the turkey as Martha suggests. Nor did I make stuffing. But we are having sweet potato kugel this Shabbos if that helps.

If it comes out pretty, there will be a picture here. If not, not.

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The Skinny Crumb Factory

11/18/2010

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Day One of the 30-Day Shred is done.
You can read about it by clicking on The Skinny Crumb Blog on top of the page - at least I'm thinking about documenting it.
It won't be a new blog, just a different kind of blog.
I mean, I didn't want to mess up my nice mommy crafty blog with tales of hard work, healthy food and exercise.

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<<Previous

Throw Food In The Air? Yup.

It's Crunch Time

T'was a few nights before Chanukah and all through the house, No one was sleeping, and I really mean, nobody.

... And We're Back

Shabbbos Games

By the time lunch is over, I am pretty sure I can hear the dining room floor crying...

Swear that, dangit, next Shabbos you will wear sneakers...

Adventures At Shoprite

The Skinny Crumb Factory

Archives

T'was a few nights before Chanukah
and all through the house,
No one was sleeping,
and I really mean, nobody.

By the time lunch is over,
I am pretty sure I can
hear the dining room floor crying...

Swear that, dangit, next Shabbos
you will wear sneakers...