You walk in there thinking, jackpot, every single thing is under five dollars, so I can totally get a hoola hoop, three soccer balls, forty-two pens and all the school supplies and I'll still be okay.
But those dollars add up quickly, my friends. Very quickly.
We've been to Five Below before, but it's been a long while since I've been there with all four kids. Surprisingly, we had fun. I guess once all your kids pass the age where they immediately run away from you, tearing through the store and pulling all the t-shirts off the shelf while licking all the plastic water bottles, you're good to go, you know? Who knew?
The girls needed headphones as part of their endless school supply list and it was either spend $20 in Target on fancy headphones or $5 in Five Below and we went with the cheaper option. And the oldest ones needed stuff for their locker, because stuff. You need it for your locker. Again, who knew? I'm brand new to this locker territory stuff. Stuff.
Everyone needed Stuff at Five Below.
Donut shaped sticky notes, poop emoji sticky notes, pizza sticky notes. We are now fully stocked in the sticky note department.
We also needed cups with straws that can also hold a snack.
And we needed erasers imprinted with inspirational sayings (what does perfectly imperfect mean, mommy?)
And we needed a notebook because we don't have any good ones in the house.
Wanna hear something funny though? At one point, I told the kids that if they wanted to put anything else at all into my cart, anything at all that is not on this long list of school supplies, they'd have to pay for it themselves.
No problem. Everybody's a big spender in the store.
And then we got home.
I asked them to pay up.
And buyer's remorse set in.
I don't want my nose-picking sharpener anymore.
I didn't really want this straw cup.
I forgot I already had a pencil case.
Uch, we have so many sticky notes.
Well yes, yes we do, my loves. We are rich. We have sunk our wealth into sticky notes.
They complained. They begged. They sulked around. One little one even brought me her wallet and showed me how she would have no dollars left if she gave me the money she said she would. Okay, that one made me a little sad, but only because she is little. I looked away before we could lock eyes and I'd break. Instead, I looked at the ceiling and took her money.
I only felt a little bad.
But at some point, the Lesson of the Money Tree, as in there's no such thing as a money tree and I know that because I have searched and searched and visited every garden store around, inquiring about such a tree, must be taught. It's a hard lesson, one many grownups have never learned, but a lesson all the same.
We might not have done our summer homework yet, but we did learn a lesson today.
That's right, TAKE THAT summer slide.