We have a lizard.
And he's not our pet.
I was tidying up the guest room this afternoon as my mother-in-law is coming for a long weekend and what should I find but a lizard. A scared lizard, because when I moved the box he was hiding (living?) behind, he froze. But you know what? He wasn't more scared than I was.
This was me, in a very loud voice and to no one in particular because I was home alone*:
Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness...
So loud, I scared the lizard out of his stupor because he finally made a run for it under the love-seat we have in the guestroom.
I had no idea what to do but I did know two things for sure:
1. I did not want to see that lizard again.
2. There was no way Josh could come home in the middle of the day to catch it.
I started my oh my goodness mantra again and I started looking around the room and wouldn't you know it, there they were. I knew it was always a smart idea to buy clearance items at Target even if you aren't really sure you need them.
We don't have a pool but I did buy four pool noodles the other day and they happened to be sitting in the guest room. Super slowly, I put one noodle on the bottom of each side of the couch, covering the openings near the floor. This was my attempt at barricading that sucker in.
I used whatever big things were in the room to keep the noodles in place -an unconnected printer (although, had it been connected, it wouldnt have been for long), a police car cozy coupe, our huge cooler that we shlepped onto the auto train and a very heavy bag full of something or other.
That lizard didnt have a chance of escaping. I mean maybe he did, I have no idea. Do lizards have bones? Can they make themselves very flat and flee? I don't know and I don't care. I slowly left the room, closed the door and placed a tightly rolled up towel at the bottom of the door, just in case. I'm the kind of girl who doesn't like to take chances.
Let's back up for a second though - I should mention that as I was backing out of the room, I noticed a bug, a nice sized bug if you will, on the floor. I reached into the not yet unpacked box near the door and threw a pot lid over the little (bug) guy.
There. See? I'm working on turning negatives into positives.
Still not unpacked - a potential negative.
But let's turn that around.
Still not unpacked! Great! A pot lid in the guest room just when I needed one! Hooray!
I do have to take a moment and comment on the insects and wildlife living in my house.
We did not seem to have any until the termite/exterminator guy came last week. Apparently everyone here (or everyone here who falls for the termite shpiel) has the outside of their house termited, or whatever the term is when they use preventitive measures against termites. Whatever it is, we had it done. And while the guy was here, he did his anti-bug thing around the outisde of the house, although I have to say, whatever he did, I'm not sure he did it right. Maybe he used the come-live-here-bug-spray because that's what's happening. He most certainly did not use the go-away-and-leave-us-alone spray.
Needless to say, we're calling him in the morning.
Anywho, Josh eventually came home and chased the lizard around the room, although the kids were screaming so loud and he was laughing so hard, he almost missed him. But he got him. And now he's outside the house. The lizard. Not Josh.
Josh can stay.
*I have never before typed the words "I was home all alone..." Crazy.
I can't remember the last time my house was so quiet.
School started today and while we've been doing this back to school thing for the past six Septembers, this is the first time that I have come home from drop-off alone. All four of my kids are in school this year and it's kind of lonely, as in weeping in the car lonely.
I know it'll get better and I know that I won't be bored, I start working part time as their school's art teacher next week but for now, today, I'm kind of sad. Not bad sad at all, just bittersweet sad.
I didn't have any little chatterboxes with me in Target this morning and I didn't have anyone begging for chocolate at the checkout line in the supermarket. What I did have though, was time. Because, man, I am so much faster in Target when I'm alone - I just didn't know it was possible to be in and out in ten minutes and still get everything I need. If we're ever in and out of somewhere in ten minutes it's most likely because we were not behaving and so we left a full shopping cart in the middle of the store and came home to take a nap.
Anyway, while I was in Target, I picked up a few things to make a (very) small first-day-of-school dinner party.
We now have balloons hung in the kitchen, a small wrapped toy on each bed and a plate of cookies on the table, along with a new book for each kid. I love new books. And the kids love meatballs, which is what we're having for dinner so win-win for everyone.
The whole party took 15 minutes to throw together (and that included wrapping toys) and now we have a new tradition for the first day of school for years to come.
I know I'm still in the middle of telling our moving story, but it's a long story and the kids haven't started school yet and there's not much time.
But, However and all the other connecting words, we used the long non-school days to help Josh. He's starting as a new school principal tomorrow and the teacher in- service meetings have been taking much of his time this past week.
He very much wanted to give his teachers a little something before school started and he's all about useful gifts so the kids and I made these Teacher Survival Kits for his staff.
I cannot claim these to be an original idea of mine. Someone can, but it's not me and its certainly not the scores of mommy bloggers who have been making these but to whoever thought of these, good for you and thanks!
The kids and I headed to Walmart for the second time - the first time was to spend $245 on school supplies. Yeah, you heard me. The cashier asked if I was homeschooling. I said no. She asked if I was a school teacher and again, I said no. Then she just shook her head in disbelief.
Anyway, we headed to Walmart for a second trip and after some roaming around and complaining, we came up with these:
We filled a pencil box with tissues, sharpies, pens, sticky notes, hand sanitizer, granola bars, crystal light single serve packs, tylenol and a few other things. The packing of the boxes was a whole activity in itself. Top it all off with a little note and some clip art and they were ready to be taken to school and handed out.
I hope the teachers liked them. Josh was so sincere in wanting to do something for his teachers.
First day of school tomorrow.
All four kids plus Josh in one school.
Me, all alone and sad.
Wish us all luck.
We've been subsisting on crackers, cream cheese and the kindness of strangers. I mean, they're not strangers anymore, they're wonderful members of this community who have been dropping off dinner for the past few evenings. I kind of wish that could on for a few weeks. Or months. A year would be nice. Could you imagine not cooking dinner for a year? Me either.
Because the time to start cooking again has arrived. My sad children are asking for things like hard boiled eggs and noodles. My kids don't even like noodles, that's how desperate for home cooked food they are.
We finally kashered the oven so I was able to make French fries and hotdogs (using the final package of hotdogs we brought from NY. Sniff.)
But the stovetop? That's a whole other story. Apparently, gas ovens are not used in the state of Florida; it's unclear to me why. And the same applies to cooktops set into the counter which is what we have in this new house. And this cooktop, not kasher-able.
Okay. I panicked for a minute and then got ahold of myself. Aren't you so proud me? I did a drop of research (and only a drop because with wifi not hooked up yet, we're running dangerously close to the end of our data plan) and found a Sears outlet which had a new cooktop for half the price. My kinda store. And while we were there, I picked up a washer and dryer because my laundry room is currently empty.
Do you like how blasé I was about saying I picked up a washer and dryer? Can you say hemorraging money? All together now! Hemorraging money!
Anyway, the point of my story is that we're kind of hungry and so I took the kids on a Cosco excursion this morning.
Back in New Jersey, we were proud members of BJ's, because they sold Luv's diapers and Cosco didn't, but also because my parents have a Cosco membership and so we kind of didnt need one.
Here, I visited BJ's and was unimpressed with their kosher selection so I loaded up the kids and took a drive to Cosco.
Thanks to my GPS, we made it there uneventfully, but sadly, that was the best part of our trip.
At the customer service department, I filled out the paperwork only to be told that my NJ license is not a proper form of ID. Can you imagine saying that to someone in NJ? You'd get clocked in the head. I didn't clock anyone and I also held my tongue and didn't say anything nasty, but that was mostly cause the kids were with me.
I did, however, come home and tell Josh my story, who proceeded to march (drive) us all back there the next day and, I'm not really sure what he did, but we both have Cosco cards now. And Cosco American Express cards to use there too, because Cosco only takes American Express. So weird.
I wrote all this several days ago; we're better now. My fridge is full and we've done tons of laundry, but dont worry, I'm still me and the laundry is still not folded.
We really like it here. It's a huge change from, as they say here "up north" but we're in a good place: the guy in the supermarket not only bags your stuff but brings it to the car and puts the bags into the trunk (I know, so crazy) but we also found the kosher ice cream which makes everything right in the world.
Is it weird that we were there yesterday and today and when we left the lady said, "see you tomorrow!" and I was like, "yup!"?
Hoping wifi comes soon so I can be back soon!
Are you a Mom?
Of course you are,
your shirt is dirty :)