I don't want to judge or anything, and I know, in my heart of hearts that
boys will be boys but this just blew me away, and made me vaguely nauseous.
I was going through my five year old's backpack after school the other day
and made the mistake of reaching into the side pocket. It just looked so full
and I couldn't imagine what he had in there. And this is what I pulled out:
It's not that easy to see, so I'll just tell you. A dirty tissue (normal),
a dollar (normal, but where'd he get it?), a nasty old bag of mashed m&m's
(weird, but still, I don't like to waste perfectly good chocolate either) and -
wait for it - a bar of Dial soap. And I will tell you - even in the face of
sharing too much information - Josh uses Irish Spring soap. So where this bar of
soap came from is a mystery, and one that I am not entirely sure I want to
solve. (Hey, wait, Ma, do you guys use Dial? Please tell me you do. Please.)
I asked the boy where all this stuff came from. He had answers for
everything except the soap. Said he didn't remember where he got it but he did
say that sometimes school smells funny and the soap makes his backpack smell
nice. Brilliant answer. Brilliant boy. (And why does school smell funny?!)
So I let him keep it. It makes him happy, and if he's happy, I'm happy.
I also believe these weird hoarding things (and they are weird) are
hereditary - unfortunately for blaming purposes - from both sides of the family.
Years ago, when I was in Israel, one of my aunt's little boys came home
from school with olive pits and toenails in his pocket. (Did you just throw up
in your mouth a little? Cause I did.) And please don't ask whose toenails they
were, my aunt didn't.
But wait, there's more! I have heard this story countless times but since I
did not know Josh when he was little, I have no way to verify the truth of it,
but apparently, as a little boy, Josh would carry chicken bones, left from
dinner, in his pocket. Gross, yes. But not as bad as toenails. If one of my kids
came home carrying something like that, I would throw the pants straight into
the garbage. Right?
Are you a Mom?
Of course you are,
your shirt is dirty :)