The first game is called the Tag-Team-Nap Game.
Never played? It's a winner. It goes something like this.
7am: Abba leaves to go to Hashkama to layn
7:01: Mommy and kiddies have breakfast #2.
8:30am Abba comes home.
8:33:Abba and boys go back to shul and, we hope (hope), groups.
9:00: Baby falls asleep.
9:30: Two-year-old, awake since 4am, falls asleep.
9:31: Mommy crawls quietly into bed with magazine.
9:32: Baby wakes up.
9:33: Mommy cries.
9:34: Baby eats and falls back asleep at 10:15am
10:16: Mommy crawls into bed with magazine again.
10:18: Two-year-old wakes up.
10:19: Mommy cries again.
10:20: Two-year-old wails because Mommy hasn't come this instant. 10:21: Baby wakes up from all the wailing.
10:22: Mommy says a potty word, collects everyone and goes downstairs without her magazine to wait for the boy team to come home.
By the time lunch is over,
I am pretty sure I can
hear the dining room floor crying...
Finally, finally, like a few years later, the boy team comes home to find the girl team lying on the living room floor. We learn from the weird smile on Abba's face that the boy team apparently didn't work well together this morning either, and so it is time for lunch. By the time that is over, I am pretty sure I can hear the dining room floor crying from all the food dropped under the table.
Where was I? Oh yeah. Okay, so the Tag-Team-Nap Game is over. We will play again next week.
Never played this one either? I'll explain the rules. For starters, the game can be played by as many players as needed at one time.
To start the game, you bundle your kids up in their winter coats, go outside and realize that the inside of your house is way colder than the outside of your house. You then come back inside and put all the winter hats away and get laughed at by your husband who, not three minutes before said, "It's a nice autumn day. I think you're overdressing them". That's a direct quote. It's okay to throw the winter hats at his head; it's part of the game. All laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Swear that, dangit, next Shabbos
you will wear sneakers...
To end the game, you feed the kids dinner, hear havdalah and realize with a growing sense of horror that it's only 5:30pm and bedtime is still days away. Realize that you will save money this week as you do not need to buy another magazine to read for next Shabbos as you still have your unread one from this week. Rejoice in found money.
(ps. sorry about the lame-o pictures. It was Shabbos, I had to improvise.)